Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I have a very difficult time with the term "mixed race". I do not think such a thing really exists for those of African descent.

I am a woman of African descent. I have learned through the years that to claim otherwise is to negate my very being. My father is black, my mother is white. I am a light skinned woman- there is little physically about me that could not easily translate as Arab or Portuguese. My mother always knew she would be raising black children no matter what they looked like, and she was right. I was brought up in Saskatchewan with my mother's family. I have a very loving family. Yet, I know that my blackness makes them uneasy. And so I have been taught to keep quiet about this fact to make others 'comfortable'. Half of myself was in hiding. I can assimilate very well- I had to- but to do so always meant burying the deepest understanding I had of myself. Blackness among whiteness in any degree, is tolerated at best- never accepted, never welcome. How often I was reminded of this.

I was not put on this earth to bridge any gap between races- in my experience it's not possible- as blackness amongst whiteness is only tolerated at best. I know who I am. I am very clear on this. I am clear that to be tolerated is beneath me. I cannot bring my mouth to speak mixed race woman. I am a woman of African descent.

No comments: